What is the most sensual voice you've ever heard?  YIKES!  Where are we going with THAT question? 

Vocalics.

Vocalics is the study of all stimuli produced by the human voice that affect the auditory sense.  It's not the words themselves, but how the words sound.  Even pauses and silence are our instruments of vocalics.

Have you ever thought about how you sound?  It's time to hike up your awareness and skills of vocalics because people hear the emotion in your words maybe even more than the meaning of the words themselves! 

When we project our voice, we think of it as our voice.  We may initialize it from within our body, but once it gets out there, it really isn't ours anymore.  Once our voice leaves our bodies, three little ear bones vibrate in the other person's body. 

How intimate is THAT? 

Let's do our own experiment.  Hum a really low note.  Where do you feel that in your body?  Now hum a really high...

Have you ever stressed out about what someone thinks about you?  Yep, I've done it too.

After my divorce, I all too often wondered what my ex-wife was telling my daughters about me.  Was she saying good things?  Disparaging things?  I wondered and worried.  It really ate me up inside.  I thought about being direct and asking her, but would she tell me the truth – especially if she was telling them icky stuff?  And I must admit, there was enough icky truths to tell them, too!  Should I ask my young daughters?  Aargh…this was SO frustrating!

We worry about what others think.  Every time you think about what another person is thinking, you give that person power over this moment in your life.   Is it worth your mindshare, your energy?  If it's not worth it, you leak energy and personal power!!  YIKES!

So how do you prevent leaking personal power?  I analyze these situations with three simple...

We traveled a long way to get here.  Delphi, Greece.  The place where Pythia, the Delphi Oracle, received pilgrims seeking answers to questions related to their most pressing issues.  Politicians, kings and philosophers traveled the arduous journey to the Delphi Oracle.  Why?  Because they believed she spoke Truth. 

What question would you ask, if you had complete faith the answer would be absolutely True?

I call this the Delphi Oracle Question (DOQ).  I use this metaphor in my events and programs.  When I prepare for big events or ceremonies, I brainstorm my DOQ.  Review and revise it.  Imagine if you could receive absolute Truth, wouldn't you hone that question to get it just right?  The process of honing my question is a habit and I'm amazed at how the question is always answered!  Perhaps not in the way or timing I expect, but always answered.

Well, here I was at the actual site of the Delphi Oracle!  Magnificent...

You may think this piece is about life after turning 55.  I have a great story of turning 50, but that story is for another time.

This story begins in Cuzco, Peru.  A few years ago, I had a magical 'pull' to conduct an event in the sacred mountains of Machu Picchu.  I conducted a dry run of the event because of the exotic location.  So, my team and I took off for Machu Picchu, flying through Lima and staging in Cuzco Peru.

When I landed in Cuzco, I felt a little 'off.'  It was like having a mild case of sunstroke.  A little confusion.  Head a little blurry.  Altitude.  Cuzco is at about 11,000 feet.  I slept well that first night, but woke in the morning still dizzy.  I was downing coco tea, a local remedy for altitude sickness.  Due to my Cardiac Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD), I carry a small oximeter which measures my oxygen levels.  Oximeter read 64%.  For people without lung problems, typical readings...

I was talking to a Senior at my alma mater, Purdue, recently.  He was graduating with a four-year graphic design degree.  Wow!  Think of the hard work.  The many classes.  Drawings.  Computer Programs.  Tests.  Projects.  4 years of hard work.

"What do you want to do when you graduate."

His answer surprised me.

"I'm not sure I'm qualified to take a full-time job so I'm thinking I'll take a part-time job to learn what I need to do a good job."

I looked at him.  Stunned.  Here's a young man who has worked hard for 4 years and doesn't have the confidence to put his hard work into practice.  I guess he's suffering from the "Not Good Enough" syndrome.  Ever caught that dis-ease?

I launched into my story from my Bachelor's Degree in Chemical Engineering and how I had seen many failures along the way.  One particular one sticks with me today.  You see, I flunked second semester Organic Chemistry in my second...

"Let's Go. Go. Go!!"      "Where are we going?"

My 4-year old nephew.  So full of life.  Boundless energy.  Always seeking the next big adventure.  His life is one discovery after another.

I was also taken aback by his exclamation.  Our lives are full of activity, but do we fill our lives with Action?  Do we know where we're going? 

Webster defines Action as the accomplishment of a thing.  And Success is the accomplishment of an Aim or Goal.

Action is different than Activity.  Action moves towards your goal.  It's your journey to achieve what you want …. your success! 

Sit back for a moment and think about what you want to accomplish today.  Write it down.  What Action do you need to take today to accomplish that thing?  Voila!  You have today's Action Plan!  Today's Success is within reach!

Now let's hone this a bit.  Any activity not aligned with accomplishing the...

When I was a Chemical Engineering Coop student at Corning Glass Works, I was assigned to a project in Medford Massachusetts.  The problem:  micron-sized holes etched into teeny tiny beads were not uniform.  These beads hold substrate used to test blood for disease.  Don't sweat, I'm not going to talk about the science of Radio-Immuno Assays (RIA).

There was a man named Blackie.

I needed to test samples of glass pellets in a HUGE oven, an industrial sized oven.  The inside of the oven is probably the volume of your kitchen.  Yea, that's one BIG oven!  The only non-production oven that size was "on the hill" in our Research & Development Center.  The only way access that oven was to review your plans with…Blackie.

Blackie had a reputation.  He had been in the industry for over 20 years….or was it 200 years?  I can't remember.  Anyway, the guy was ancient to this 21 year-old.  If you didn't have your...

Paul's wife, Eva, called with bad news.  Her mother's health took a turn for the worse.  For the rest of the day, our conversation focused on family, parents, children and grandchildren.  We talked about our responsibilities as good sons, as good parents.  

My fondest memories of growing up in Chicago are watching Saturday night horse races with my grandmother and Aunt Marie.  Dad built onto our house so they could stay with us.  When my maternal grandmother, Mims, was ill, she stayed at our house in Cincinnati.  In both instances, I was too young to understand how my mom and dad felt about their parents staying with us.  One thing I know for sure, though, is that taking care of their parents was just what they did. 

Too often I hear stories about old folks being a burden on society.  When did we adopt a mindset that our parents are a burden?  Gee, when you were 2 years old, do you think you were a self-sufficient being? ...

When something goes wrong, we seek for reasons WHY it went wrong.  It's only natural.  In consulting, we called it Root Cause Analysis.  Unfortunately, in our attention deficit world, we don't have the patience or the time to dig deep and find root causes.  Instead we rely on easy. 

Blame is Easy

Too easy.  When someone cuts you off in traffic, you ASSUME the person is a jerk and that's what they ALWAYS do.  Your blood boils.  Maybe a few choice words spew out of your mouth.  In that moment, when your attention is consumed, did you just cut someone else off? 

A Wisdom Story of Driving Like a Lunatic

What was the root cause of that person cutting you off?  Are they having a bad day?  Are they late for their wedding?  Did they come out of the womb, born a jerk with a capital "J"?  You don't know.  You can't know.  So why assume the worst?

I remember an exact moment I was that guy.  That speeding nut,...

Do you remember setting the dinner table when you were a kid?

Table Manners was a high priority in our household.  Setting the table, just so.  Forks, spoons, knives and napkins all in their right place. 

Sitting at our dinner table, I can still hear my Dad's remarks bark across the table:

• Get your elbows off the table
• Your fork isn't a spoon
• Sit up straight at the dinner table
• Get the hair out of your eyes
• Did you ask to be excused?

We didn't get dessert until everyone finished the main course.  Sometimes I fidgeted at the table as each person finished their meal, just ACHING to jump from the table to continue playing with my Matchbox cars! 

Ah, but I found a twist!  As the youngest of four children I discovered I could use that rule to exert my power over the entire family.  I learned how to eat REAL slow, all three of my siblings glaring at me.  Yes, 16 chews on this spoonful of peas is about right.  Chew.  Chew. ...